Brad Stewart and Helen Haskell Remien.
In my circles, we have lost two beloveds in recent days. Brad and Helen leave massive gaps and remind us – as death does – just how connected we are and how quickly life and everything we know of it can slip away.
Both of these humans were people deeply embedded in their communities of Lincoln, Nebraska and Ishpeming, Michigan. And despite everything going on in the world, their lives felt like the most important thing to write about this month.
They were people who lived to introduce or re-introduce you to your spark. They were people who lived to celebrate others and build confidence in everyone around them. They were people who insisted in living large and with great warmth and welcome.
Helen Haskell Remien 1955 – 2022
I celebrate their lives here on this platform – where we’re ushering in political courage, cultural humility, and an ethic of care – because it’s no small thing to believe in people’s capacity for growth and learning. It’s no small thing to take your greatest satisfaction in seeing other people shine.
That is something the world needs desperately right now. That belief in and encouragement of our fellow humans is the thing that keeps us moving forward through all the changes to come.
Change is the very nature of what it means to be alive. The encouragers matter so much right now because they are inviting us to see the bigger picture, to believe in ourselves, to take the risk…to become unstuck.
Our longing for the static reveals the wound. Those of us with more privilege are often duped into believing that something unchanging is preferred, secure.
Encouragers remind us this isn’t true. And to be an encourager in the social good space is all I want to do too – encourage people to speak up, encourage people to “be with” what is painful and problematic about our sector, encourage people to live, as Helen did, from the inside out and pursue what gives us joy.
At this point in history, it is ever being revealed that the experts don’t have all the answers. I suspect those who claim to have “the model” to anything. And yet we also know that each of us has fundamental know-how and resources that are needed for social transformation. I want to encourage every person I meet in this sector to “own” their experiences, recognize their privileges, and to value their voice. I want every one of us to experience the integrity of alignment between our inner voice and outer professional identity.
Both Helen and Brad celebrated others’ voices – through writing, through laughter, but most importantly, through gathering. And their deaths remind me that the things most often required of us, those who are trying to “help” are: resources, allies, solidarity, respect, celebration, collaboration, and encouragement.
The extent to which you encourage other people will ultimately be what they remember, far beyond our short time on the planet.
So thank you Brad and Helen, for the generosity of spirit and your belief in us, wherever you are now.
“You need to face horrible things. That’s the way you deal with them. You can write jokes about horrible awful horrible things and you can laugh at it and you can maybe get over it a little bit and take the power away from that sh*tty thing that happened to you. That’s what I think comedy is.” ~Brad Stewart
“I believe in joy. I believe that deep inside of us there is a bubbling, overflowing, rapturous wellspring of joy, and that it is up to each of us, if we so choose, to find our connection with this energy, again and again and again.” ~Helen Haskell Remien
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